WOAH so im on a caffeine high right now && since i havent updated since the summer i figured i'd update now..

a lot has happened.

i dont even know where to start.

so the end of the summer kinda sucked/ kinda was good.

me and joe broke up b/c i basically thought we were better friends then anything and i was mean and blahblahblah && i guess we're okay now? idk sometimes i think we are && sometimes i think he kinda hates me.

anyway

im going out with another boy. his name is joe. hes wonderful. im lucky. the end<3

school started. haha i thought this year would be a joke, but its definitely not. its definitely hard. but im getting by i guess. i cant let myself stress this year especially cause its my senior year. so yeah, no stress.

thats the past few months in a nutshell.

this weekend should be pretty fantastic.
friday i am helping my aunt decorate for her halloween party && HOPEFULLY seeing saw III with joe.
saturday is the actual halloween party. then i think @ night im going clubbing with joe, shannon, mark, chevy, evangelo, ryan, blahblahblahblah.. which is going to be fucking awesome.
then sunday im making joe get a pumpkin with me.. i dont think ive told him this yet.. but we are =)
then next week is halloween && senior cut day is the next day. i am pretty pumped for the next 2 weeks. =)

did i mention that field hockey made states? yeah we're pretty beast this year. we basically rock. i love field hockey this year. i am going to miss my girls so much. this might be our last week. &&& i might just cry =( 
ps senior day was amazing! thanks jrs, sophs, & frosh <3

so more about the boyfriend..
i met him through lara
&& im glad for that
i felt this instant connection with him
he's like no person i met before
like even when i just think about him, he brings a smile to my face
and we get along so well
i am so happy that i found him
he's goodlooking, funny, nice, & he treats me so well
i couldnt ask for more
<33
ps i love you more babyyyyyyyy =P

so anyway.. a lot has been going on
and im pretty happy about that !

i should probably go to sleep
so i will.
goodnight

its not about the money we make
its about the passions that we ache for
what makes your heart beat faster?
tell me now, what does your body long after?
i don't care now where we live
it's not where, or what, or who we were with
i just need you in my life
so promise me again
when memories fade
we've got each other
when time and confusion collide
singing i hold it all when i hold you
when friends walk other ways
we've got each other
i hold it all when i hold
i hold it all when i hold you <3

so let me be a bit random

i have a tendency to mess things up. pretty bad. hm like especially when it comes to my relationships with people. i do stupid stuff a lot. and the people that are still in my life despite all of my stupidity are my true friends. and i just wanted to say thanks to the people that have been there and always will be there. i appreciate and love you all =)

even though i do still have all the people in my life that i need, i just can't shake the fact that i'm not on very good terms with some people. i just wish i could make up for anything ive ever done to anybody and never do anything stupid it again. but im only human and i will and i do make mistakes. so im sorry for any mistakes ive ever made. some just arent as forgiving as others and thats understandable.

i think im very forgiving. if someone does something bad to me, which rarely happens since my friends are basically amazing, then i normally forgive them right away. but there are others who, if you even say something out of line, they hate you forever and ever.

i wish everybody could be equally forgiving but i also wish it was impossible to do any harm to any one close to you, therefore there would be no reason for forgiving. blahh i hate rainy days because your stuck inside and theres nothing to do but think haha

so i hurt my calf; probably pulled a muscle or something. but i limp, i dont walk. i cant run fdkjfkghlfskjakdajkh i am going crazy. its been 2 days. i swam today and i think im going to work out. but no basketball tonight for me. =( but i am still going to the game to cheer on my team. !! && maybe just maybe ill play a little, hopefully.

on demand is my favorite. now its impossible for me to miss entourage & tourgasm

im probably the biggest loser ever but i dont care haha

okay i'm bored with this

ahhhh
i havent updated in a while

so its officially summer. i am officially a senior. & i am officially stress free. golf clap for me

this summer should be a hit. especially because numero uno: i can drive & so can most of my friends =)
on tuesday i went to ocean city with dana, gina, joe, jason, & courtney.. i kinda picked a bad day to go.. but it basically kinda wasnt my fault, i was just trying to fit everyones schedule.. but its all good, we still had fun

so me & dana came to the realization that we dont have to be stuck at her dads all the time because well.. i can drive. i cant believe we just came to the realization,  but its about time we did =)

tonight was the ANGELS & AIRWAVES/TAKING BACK SUNDAY concert, and it was fucking amazing. im SO glad that joe & jason were just like "hey jil, want to go to the angels & airwaves/tbs concert?" and i was totally like "like OMGorz TOTALLY." and i like bought my ticket at the entrance.. haha i totally did that to sound ditzy so yeah. haha anwaysssssss.. the concert was amazing.. lawn seats are fun EVEN THOUGH i couldve gotten PIT TIX  for the same price but since joe & jason had lawn seats i had to get them haha. i loved tonight =)

this is just a taste of what this summer is going to be like. & i am so excited

there is one bad thing about this particular summer though, colin is leaving august 1st. the more time goes by, the more i think about how he is really actually leaving for college soon. thats hard to take. i dont know if i will be able to handle it. im so used to having him around, even if we aren't hanging out.. i like know he's always there if i ever ever need him. but the fact that he is going to be in delaware is basically killing me.. ahh idk hopefully i will see him more before he leaves because i am going to miss him soo much =(

anywayssss time to go watch entourage since i basically missed it tonighttttttt



leave me some sweet pic & blog comments hyahyahya <3 danamcnellis

remococco: i wanna see your mom again though
remococco: it would be soo funny
gr33n kite99: haha im sure she wants to see you
gr33n kite99: your like her favorite
remococco: yea...but its gotta be a surpise
remococco: just like show up at your door one day
remococco: ill buy her a cup of coffee too
gr33n kite99: haha
gr33n kite99: and be like
gr33n kite99: whats up mrs g?!
remococco: haha
remococco: im serious too
remococco: it would spectacular
remococco: be* 

everyone loves my mom. i love it. <3

gr33n kite99: go to my college
gr33n kite99: itll be fun
SiLvErDrAgOn255: haha
gr33n kite99: we'll like party together
gr33n kite99: =)
SiLvErDrAgOn255: haha
SiLvErDrAgOn255: u wanna party with me?
SiLvErDrAgOn255: ur too crazy for me
gr33n kite99: ill teach you my ways
gr33n kite99: either that
gr33n kite99: or we can study together
gr33n kite99: & have all nighters with lots of caffeine & monster energy drinks.
gr33n kite99: haha
SiLvErDrAgOn255: lol
gr33n kite99: just apply there =)
SiLvErDrAgOn255: ok i will
SiLvErDrAgOn255: whee is it at?
gr33n kite99: its right by atlantic city
gr33n kite99: richard stockton university
SiLvErDrAgOn255: lol ok
gr33n kite99: yay
gr33n kite99: how cool would that be
gr33n kite99: if we went to the same college
SiLvErDrAgOn255: haha
SiLvErDrAgOn255: pretty cool
SiLvErDrAgOn255: but ud get tired of me
gr33n kite99: haha no way!
SiLvErDrAgOn255: waaay
gr33n kite99: id come into your dorm
gr33n kite99: and be like
gr33n kite99: WAKE UP SUNSHINE
gr33n kite99: ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE SEEN YOUR GLORIOUS ABERCROMBIE MODEL FACE
gr33n kite99: (even though it was the night before)
gr33n kite99: haha
SiLvErDrAgOn255: hahaha
SiLvErDrAgOn255: actiually if we went to the same college it woulkd be more like
SiLvErDrAgOn255: u waking up next to me
gr33n kite99: and saying
gr33n kite99: WAKE UP SUNSHINE
SiLvErDrAgOn255: yup exactly lol
gr33n kite99:  ITS BEEN SO LONG SINCE IVE SEEN YOUR GLORIOUS ABERCROMBIE MODEL FACE
gr33n kite99: hahaha
SiLvErDrAgOn255: hahha

haha this plan will work. he has to go to my college hahaha.

today was good. math was easy. i didnt understand a word in my german test but i dont really care. haha. then i went to get BEANZES license plates & then we went to the mall and got smoothies & subway. i love herr =)  and then i came home & ran & cleaned. so i found some old movies in like this really messy room in my house. these included those scary old goosebumps movies & i watched one with sam and it was actually really scary haha. ithought theyd be pretty gay considering i was scared of them when i was like 10. & then i ended up falling asleep. so yeah. im still pretty tired & i should be studying for chem but im basically just saying fuck it and im going to go watch a marykate and ashley movie hahaha. im a loser. whatevv.

THE REAL YOU

would you rather...

[ ] Ask someone out.
[x] Be asked out.

[x] Have a sunny day
[ ] Have a rainy day

[ ] Have a computer
[x] Have a cell phone

[ ] be poor & live till you're 100.
[x] Be rich & live till you're 30.

[ ] Be blind.
[x] Be deaf.

[] Have it be Winter all year round.
[x] Have it be Summer all year round.

[ ] Be beautiful.
[x] Be loved.

[ ] Take a bath.
[x] Take a shower.

[x] Be born poor and die rich.
[ ] Be born rich and die poor.

[x] never have to go to school.
[ ] never have to go to the dentist.

[ ] Never feel physical pain
[x] never feel emotional pain

[x] Wear contacts.
[ ] Wear braces.


--------------


You are

[] 5'0 & Shorter.
[] 5'1 - 5'3.
[] 5'4-5'6.
[x] 5'7 - 5'9.
[ ] 5'10 - 6'1. <
[] Tall. 6'2 & Taller.


Naturally

[] Blonde.
[] Strawberry Blonde.
[] Redhead.
[] Auburn.
[x] Brunette.
[] Dirty blonde
[] Light Brown.
[] Dark Brown.
[] Black.
[] Don't Remember.

[] Blue-Eyed.
[x] Brown-Eyed.
[] Green-Eyed.
[] Hazel Eyed.
[] Gold|Gray-Eyed.
[] Silver|Gray-Eyed.
[] Blue|Green-Eyed.
[] Blue|Gray-Eyed.
[] Change Colors
[] Brown|Green-Eyed

You Have/Had

[] Glasses
[] Contacts.
[] Braces.

Hair Length

[] Short.
[] Medium
[x] Long Hair
[] Bald


You've Done

[] Rafting.
[] Water Skiing
[] Camping.
[] Horseback Riding.
[] Surfing
[] Water Polo.
[] Skateboarding.
[] Skiing.
[] Street Luging.
[] Cheerleading.
[] Lacrosse.
[x] Street Hockey.
[] Gymnastics.
[] Martial Arts.
[] BMX.
[x] Tubing.
[] Rock Climbing
(wow i havent done much of anything)

You Can't Stand Listening To

[x] Country
[] Classical.
[] Techno.
[] Oldies.
[] Opera
[] Reggae.
[] Emo.
[] 80's.
[x] Disco.
[] Metal.
[x] Hardcore.
[] Rock.
[] Rap/HipHop.
[] R&B
[] Classic rock.
[x] Polka.


Clothing Brands You Like

[xxx] American Eagle.
[x] Hollister.
[] The Buckle
[x] Abercrombie & Fitch.
[x] Wet Seal.
[x] O'Neill.
[x] PacSun.
[x] Aeropostale
[x] Dickies.
[x] Roxy.
[x] Guess.
[x] Lucky.
[] Hot Topic.
[] Spencers.
[] Tripp
[] Champs.
[x] Old Navy.
[x] Volcom.
[x] Forever 21
[] Limited Too.
[] Salvation Army|Goodwill.
[] Other thrift stores.
[] Wal-Mart.
[x]Target
[x] If I like it I'll wear it.
[x] Other.

Your Confessions

[xxx] I am really ticklish.
[] I've collected comic books.
[] I read and watch the news.
[x] I LOVE Disney movies!
[x] I don't like killing bugs.
[x] I have/had x's in my screen name.
[] I cook well.
[x] I have worn pajamas to class
[] I like Martha Stewart .
[x] Ozzy is my hero
[x] I always do my homework
[] I still have my pokemon cards
[xxxxx] I like sneezing

pierced.

haha finals today were ridiculous. maybe thats because i blew off studying.
i had a surprise detention afterward? haha thats because i blew off going to detention yesterday.
haha ms. mkleester told me that if i got her change for a $10 bill she'd let me off the hook, so i did. it was my "get out of jail free" card so i left like 15 minutes early. i love my principle<3  colin's at the shore. im jealoussssss =P

so two finals in a row tomorrow. booo. math & german. i might actually study, i havent decided yet.

peaceeeeeeeeeeeeee

i am sooo bored & i don't feel like studying for my history exam so yeah..

Months of the Year
January
1. Did you have a new year's resolution this year?
eh no

2. Who kissed you at midnight?
no one. ive never gotten kissed at midnight on new years.

3. Does it snow where you live?
yepp

4. Do you like hot chocolate?
only in the winter.

5. Have you ever been to Times Square to watch the ball drop?
nope, i wish. but i kinda dont because it would be crowded & i'd PROBABLY get scared.

February
1. Who was your valentine in 2006?
umm ben

2. When you were little, did you buy valentines for your whole class?
yepp & i remember, in second grade, tom decoursey asked to be my valentine in a note he passed to me & gave me a box of chocolates =)

3. Do you care if the groundhog see's its shadow or not?
nah not really. i always forget what it means if he sees his shadow or he doesnt.

March
1. Are you Irish?
yepp

2. Do you wear green on St. Patty's Day?
eh i dont think i did this year? but i should've

3. What did you do for St. Patty's Day in 2006?
went to a field party but didnt drink & got cherrys & froze my butt off =)

4. Are you happy when winter is pretty much over?
YES.

April
1. Do you like the rain?
deff. actually, if it rains a really lot for a long time, then no.

2. Did you play an April fool's joke on anyone this year:
i forget haha

3. Do you get tons of candy on easter?
haha nah & I gave most of whatever i got to my dadd

4. DO YOU CELEBRATE 4-20?
nahh


May
1. What's your favorite kind of flower?
lily 

2. Do you like the spring?
i love the spring.

3. Finish the phrase "April showers":
bring may flowers =)

4. What is the first color you think of when you think of Spring?
all pastel colors <3


June
1. What year did you graduate from high school?
2007.. i havent yett

2. Did you go on any vacations last June?
ocean city babyy

3. Did you realize nothing special happens in June?
no because school is out & i went on vacation haha

July
1. What will you do on the 4th of July?
i will be in cape may. bleh.

2. Do you go on any vacations during this month?
uhh i am going to cape may a few times.

3. Do you blast the A/C all day?
nah, i open the windows =)


August
1. Will you do anything special to end off your summer?
hah i will be playing field hockey at the end of my summer

2. What was your favorite summer memory of '05?
going to the shore a really lot with my friends & having the time of my life =)

3. Did you have sunburn?
not really, i tan more then i burn.

4. Do you go to the beach a lot?
yepp

September
1. Did you attend school/college in '05?
junior year sucked

2. Who is/was your favorite teacher?
falat

3. Do you like fall better than summer?
eh i like fall but i like summer the best


October
1. What was your favorite halloween costume ever?
princess jasmin. i wore that costume for pajamas for a really long time after that because i felt like a princess & she was always my favorite.

2. What's your favorite candy?
swedish fish

3. What did you dress up like this year?
haha "hein's" ketchup & dana was french's mustard


November
1. Who's house did you go to for thanksgiving?
i had thanksgiving at my house. i loved that day =)

2. Do you love stuffing?
mhmmm i didnt used to but now i like it a lot.

3. What are you thankful for?
my life & everybody that is in it


December
1. Do you celebrate Christmas?
YESS <3

2. If not, what do you celebrate?
kwanzaa

3. Have you ever been kissed under mistletoe?
nah

4. What do you want this year?
ehh nothing really

5. Do you like cold weather?
i used to but def not anymore.

"Goodbye My Lover"

Did I disappoint you or let you down?
Should I be feeling guilty or let the judges frown?
'Cause I saw the end before we'd begun,
Yes I saw you were blinded and I knew I had won.
So I took what's mine by eternal right.
Took your soul out into the night.
It may be over but it won't stop there,
I am here for you if you'd only care.
You touched my heart you touched my soul.
You changed my life and all my goals.
And love is blind and that I knew when,
My heart was blinded by you.
I've kissed your lips and held your hand.
Shared your dreams and shared your bed.
I know you well, I know your smell.
I've been addicted to you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I am a dreamer and when i wake,
You can't break my spirit - it's my dreams you take.
And as you move on, remember me,
Remember us and all we used to be
I've seen you cry, I've seen you smile.
I've watched you sleeping for a while.
I'd spend a lifetime with you.
I know your fears and you know mine.
We've had our doubts but now we're fine,
And I love you, I swear that's true.
I cannot live without you.

Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

And I still hold your hand in mine.
In mine when I'm asleep.
And I will bare my soul in time,
When I'm kneeling at your feet.
Goodbye my lover.
Goodbye my friend.
You have been the one.
You have been the one for me.

I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.
I'm so hollow, baby, I'm so hollow.
I'm so, I'm so, I'm so hollow.

so today was the last official day of school. But next wednesday is 'the last day' of my junior year. After next wednesday, I am a senior. class of ohhhh7even babyyy. =)
classes were gay & we didn't really do much. i was suppose to have detention for taking out my cell phone during history but i didn't go. it was the last day so why bother. haha

so i pushed myself and ran 4 miles today. it felt so good. i looove it. i think i'm addicted to running which is pretty cool i guess.

i feel a lot better today. i needed a smack in the face, in other words, a major reality check. so yeah, even though what i did last night was gay but it earned me that reality check. so yeah it was bad, but it helped me in a way. hm idk, i just feel so much better. =)

this weekend i am going to cape may & i am so excited. i just want to lay on the beach forever <3

pinkfloyd is amazing..
so are you =)

lets hope this summer is amazing
summer '06 whats upppppppp

<3

I've had a drastic change of heart. Talking to people does make things better. I learn from my mistakes. & so I learned a lot tonight.

1. never bottle emotions up. it doesn't get you anywhere
2. always know that people care. & never ever think other wise
3. your friends are ALWAYS there for you. thats why they are your friends.
4. don't doubt yourself. don' doubt your friends. don't doubt anything. just go with it
5. let people into your life. you've only got one to live

I learned a lot about myself tonight. I have to change. I have to let people in. People are there for me, & I know it.

I might've been reaching out for attention but I don't know why. I was stupid.

Stress has taken over my life and I'm not going to let it get to me anymore.

So to all my friends, I really am truly sorry for the way I've been acting lately. The summers almost here, and I shouldn't even have a care in the world. I am going to be a senior in high school, this summer is going to be amazing. I am a really lucky person in a lot of ways, so I need to change my outlook on a lot of things. My attitude is going to be a lot more different from here on out, I can tell you that much.

I guess I'm having an "epiphany" or whatever you'd like to call it. But I feel like a weight has been lifted. And I have a feeling everything is going to be better from now on.

"There is nothing in your life right now that should be making you upset"
-my dad
completely right. I have a good life.

so, everybody, this is a more happy ending to this entry; I guess a lot can happen in the span of 3 hours? yeah.

<3